Not even you can save me

Too much of life, hitting me all in the face at once. That was the problem. Yeah I was stressed, I felt unloved, alone, confused. That is what lead to the cutting. It wasn't anybodys fault, although I suppose people could take the blame for it. It was my fault. And I'm sorry, but not even you can fix me.
But don't worry, because I'm better now.  I have friends, I'm actually trying in school, and people love me. Or atleast I hope they do. I never know though. I can't take a compliment without thinking it over a couple times. I can't trust them. I can't trust anybody. With secrets, with ideas, with thoughts. Not even you can know me.
I don't even know IF you love me. I can't tell if you're faking it. I can't tell if you find me annoying. I can't tell unless you tell me. In my world, I might have 2 true friends, because all the people I know would talk about me behind my back. Not even you can be real.
Not even you can save me from myself.

27 scars and counting.

1 To eliminate the pain and stress from school
2 To experiment because one felt so good
3 To add, to become a new person
4 To be different
5 To prove to you that I wasn't okay
6 To see if anyone would notice it in plain view
7 You yelled at me when I was confused
8 You yelled
9 You yelled
10 You tried to help
11 You aren't helping
12 Nobody noticed
13 Nobody cares
14 Nobody loves me
15 Nobody knows
16 Nobody CAN know
17 I'm hiding
18 I'm falling apart
19 I'm scared
20 I'm confused
21 They know
22 They take me to see someone
23 They think I'm better
24 I'm not
25 Will anyone notice this time?
26 Will anyone care?
27 No one.
Alone
Afraid
Confused
Unloved

I need a hug.

please?

Why you?

Why you? You're perfect. You're caring, you're wonderful, you're beautiful, you're too good to be given this burden. This torture. This way of life.
You deserve better. You shouldn't have to hear everyones problems and deal with your own. You shouldnt have to get help, you should be perfect. You deserve to be perfect.
You shouldn't be bleeding, cutting, scarring. You shouldn't have to skip lunch and not finish your meals. You shouldn't have to worry. You shouldn't have to be anything but perfect.
You're amazing, you're talented, you're beautiful, you're cute, you're funny, you're wonderful, you're skinny, you're adorable, you're perfect.
Why can't you see that? Why can't I see it in myself? Why can't anybody see it in theirself? Why is the world such a messed up place?