Sometimes it's easier not to think. Because, what am I doing with my life?
I used to love so many things. I loved to read, yet there is not one book by my bed. Not one book that could interest me.
I used to love piano. I haven't practiced in months.
I used to be proud of the things I did. Now I just go through like mechanically accepting what comes and moving on.
Sometimes it's easier not to think. To go with the flow and let it slowly ruin your life.
Sometimes when you don't think you get caught up in something. Someone. Somewhere. That just slowly disappears leaving you empty and alone.
Just go with the flow and hope it doesn't ruin your life.

K. Kewl.

Oh. And happy anniversary, Asshole. Oh wait... All the presents I got you have no meaning. I just wasted money because you don't fucking love me anymore. 363 days mean nothing. K. Thanks. You don't need to talk to me again I guess. We can just leave it here...


I miss you.
I love you.
Come back.

People get creative
Threading a needle through their skin
I stuck to the ribbons of Scarlet
Always very thin

I didn't frame my pain with thread
of blues and greens
I only used the knife to cut
among the tears and seams

Some people carved lyrics
About pain and hate
I only carved the words
to describe my fate

help

At first its innocent

It doesn't look bad
It looks beautiful

the irritation goes away
It's soothing pain seduces you

You're happy with it
You deserve it

But then you look back
and all you see is "H E L P"

sometimes
you're so happy
but you just want to cry

sometimes
everything's perfect
but you just want to cry

sometimes
you have all the luck in the world
but you just want to cry

sometimes
there isn't anything wrong
but you just want to cry

sometimes
you're in love
but you just want to cry

sometimes
you're wrong
and you just want to cry

sometimes
you need to change
and you just want to cry

sometimes
life sucks
and you just cry

I remember

I know you
5 steps away
on the top shelf
alone.

I know you
4 steps away
calling out to me
wanting me.

I know you
3 steps away
Almost there
Wait for me

I know you
2 steps away
Faster
Needing

I know you
1 step away
the shiny metal
the smooth surface

I know you
The cold metal
on my hot hands

I know you
biting into my flesh
bringing fresh blood

I remember you
pain

It's done.

It's done
It's the end
and you have won.
will I mend?

The heart is broken
The tears have spilled
The monster has awoken.
I'm waiting to be killed

And what have you gained?
From this tragic chagrin.
The cry of pain?
The tear of skin?

You had gained my trust
But now where does it go
Does it turn to dust
Out cold in the snow?

You've just lost
All that you earned
My fingers crossed.
That you have learned.